Manifestation miracle

Stop Is One of the Most Underutilized Four Letter Words in the English Language

Have you ever found yourself on the receiving end of someone's tirade while sitting in your living room, the board room, or at a family gathering? Have you found yourself screaming in your mind, "stop", yet the word is stuck in your throat and you cannot even imagine saying it out loud?

Well, guess what? This is just what I'm encouraging you to do. It really is okay, and actually emotionally healthy to say, "stop" if we are feeling that someone is speaking to us in a way that feels uncomfortable or is unacceptable.

Don't Only Yield to The Needs of Others

As an emotionally healthy adult, it is our responsibility to teach people how we want to be treated. We cannot assume that the other person knows how we are feeling, or if something is upsetting us. In part, this means if someone says or does something that is not okay with us, then we need and deserve to say, "stop."

This can be done in a non-aggressive and healthy manner.

• Don't shout, speak in a calm, yet firm voice.

• Be mindful of your tone of voice and body language.

• Use "I" instead of "You" statements.

• Your response may sound something like this, "Please stop. I need you to stop."

Developing Acceptable Signals & Healthy Boundaries

I encourage the individuals and couples that we work with in our psychotherapy practice to establish guidelines around how they want to be treated by the people in their life. The time to have this discussion is when both individuals are in "neutral". When there is no emerging issue, or current conflict for either person. This is a healthy way of discussing how each person wants to be treated. When both people agree to this, healthier interactions tend to take place.

The focus of the discussion is utilizing a very specific and individualized method of setting emotional boundaries. What works for one person, may not be satisfactory for the other. Therefore, it's important to determine what each person is comfortable with in their communication with each other.

"Boundaries serve as a reminder that there are two distinct people in the relationship with their own perspectives, needs, feelings, and interests." ~ Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC and relationship expert

Many may prefer that the other not put their hand up, or use assertive body language, to interrupt while communicating. Hence why it's important to come up with the words, and acceptable signals, beforehand. This way both people are comfortable with what's established so that's part of the agreement. This discussion, and new communication method, is planned and processed in advance, so this becomes the new normal.

Self Sabotage and How to Overcome It (By Gemma Garbett)

Self sabotage is one of the biggest ways that we don't achieve everything that we want from life. Have you ever been at a point in your life where everything is going great and then all of a sudden BANG! you have all of these fearful thoughts about not being good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, etc.

This is the Ego's way of protecting you. The Ego has a pretty amazing role. It's the Ego's job to keep you safe, especially if you are in a life or death situation. However, it also tries to keep you safe from everything. Now I know that a lot of people view the Ego as bad, but I don't. It just has a job to do and gets overactive and takes on all of those fearful comments that we have hidden in the back of our psyche.

Take today for instance, I got up and meditated as usual, I got the kids ready for school. But I couldn't shift this blah feeling. I walked around feeling pretty heavy. A client cancelled, so that added to how I was feeling. But then I had a thought that stopped me in my tracks. What am I doing?! This isn't me!

I've been making some pretty big changes to do with my work lately and allowing myself to become vulnerable and I know that this feeling was my way of sabotaging what I was doing. All morning I've had the thoughts in my head of 'who are you to be doing this work?' 'Who are you to be a medium?' 'Go and get yourself another job.'

So here I was sitting here and I thought 'Right, I have all of these tools, how am I going to use them?'

So the first thing I did, was take out my journal and write out everything that I am grateful for in my life. I then looked at each item one by one and sent love to them. I send love by visualising each item on the list in a big pink bubble, but you should do what works for you.

Secondly, I looked at my why. Why am I making these changes? Is it for me? Is it for others? Is it to help people. I just let the words flow and didn't censor any of them.

Thirdly, I sat in meditation and visualised how I would feel when all of the things that I am hoping for come to pass. I created the feelings that I wanted to feel, the sounds I wanted to hear and I let my intuition guide me. If you are not someone that has meditated before, you can start by concentrating on your breath. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. At this time the Universe (or God, divine spirit, etc) will give you a few more signs or steps and you will go back to that place of certainty.

These steps can help you make subtle changes and keep self sabotage at bay. When you practice them daily you will see big changes in your perceptions and in your daily life.

The Motivation Pill

Circumstances are a hell of a mentor. Testing you at the most vulnerable moments, trying to knock you out at the most fragile links. The crowd you are surrounded by most of the time is nothing but a horde of opportunists looking for that perfect imperfect moment when you're at the weakest and easy to step upon and go ahead. No one is here to make you succeed. All of them are looking for your use in their lives and how you can add value to their dreams and goals. No one except your parents is going to be glad when you achieve. You're an exceptional being in yourself. Ignore the naysayers, turn a deaf ear to those who preach like they know a lot. No one knows a damn thing and those who say they do, they are just trying to scare you. You have a great gift, the gift of a dream. You have a dream and now is the time to start working on it. Now, this very moment, guide each of your action towards the accomplishment of your dream. Those who mock you, try to make you feel inferior at your every step, are really scared of you. Scared for you have something they can never really achieve in their life. Something that is not easy for them to even think about it. They try to intimidate you by saying harsh words. Words that they say with a smile but in reality, they are just trying to weaken your roots like a parasite.

But what to do? Well, the fact is the whole of your life you're going to encounter such people who would do their best to make sure you fall. They are always hitting at your ladder of success trying to imbalance your dream and make you drop to the floor. They are looking for the opportunities to see you fail, to mock you, to laugh at you and shout at you. Don't let them send out any negative vibes or hurl any downers in the direction of your success. Success is a great thing, those who have achieved it, know how it tastes. Don't let anyone direct the story of your life. Success is contagious, but it comes to those who believe in themselves. Be humble, be silent but not when a blow is thrown at your self-respect. People may call it your wrong attitude, but you know that who you really are. Believing is doing. Don't listen to failures who rely on meagre dreams. Dream big, if you can dream it you can achieve it.

Want to know how to do it? Let me tell you, that you suck, you are not worth a penny. But can you let me drive the boat of your life? NO! Not me not your friends, not your well-wishers, no one shall have the right to pull you down. Stand guard at the gates of your dreams, make it strong like an impregnable fort. Make your mind a safe, the password to which only you know. Let them say what they think is right. Remember, being right is a myth, no one can ever be completely right about anything. If they say they are, just grin and say yeah sure. Remember, no words, no thoughts, no power in the universe can break you down unless you let it. Want friends? Make books your friends. Need someone expert to guide you? Walk to the mirror and you'll find the perfect guide who can help you get out of literally anything. All that you need, all the forces that will guide you in achieving your dream are right within you. Summon the universe, call upon the forces with complete dedication and child-like faith to work for you, in the direction of your dreams. And believe me, they will. But the requisite is you have to believe, you have to trust, like a child. Have you ever seen a child? Do you ever see them doubt that they can't walk? They try to walk but fall. Do they give up? HELL NO!!! So why do you give up? Be like a mirror, no amount of dust can make mirror leave its lustre, its ability to reflect. Be bold, be brave and be confident. Have faith, you are destined to do great, but to be great you have to start acting like you really are great. Take charge of your life and believe me, your life is going to be the way it should be. Tell yourself, "I am the greatest."

Motivational Rules To Apply To Life & Business

Many people see motivation as something you have or you don't have, often depending on your specific situation. In fact, motivation is a choice that everyone makes. You can find ways to be positive and to strive to improve a situation or you can choose to complain and stay stuck where you are.

This is not always easy to see, so using specific motivational rules can help to create a positive mental space and framework in any situation. To help you to get started, here are some basic motivational rules that can be easily implemented in any situation and for any individual.

Motivation Rules To Help You Stay Motivated

  • Find Your Passion! What do you really love to do? What really matters in the world around you? What do you see as your purpose or your cause? This is an important part of motivation and having a reason to do what you are doing. Find your passion and then choose activities that help you to achieve that passion or interest. Ask yourself this question, if you could do whatever you wanted and you were guaranteed success, what would you do?
  • Get Rid of Negativity - negative thoughts and negative people are like kryptonite to motivation. It is important to get rid of them in your life or at least limit the time they occupy. When you find yourself thinking you can't accomplish something, look for ways to break it down and then accomplish those smaller components, soon you will find the obstacle is no longer there. For negative people, limit contact or try to avoid topics that escalate their negativity.
  • Be Self-Competitive - set goals for yourself that are daily, weekly, monthly and longer term. Write them down and use them to chart your accomplishments. By competing with yourself to achieve your goals, you will gain self-confidence and trust in your abilities.

Finally, don't just go after small goals and daily challenges. Set long term goals and dream big as well. Having long term goals and dreams to work towards can be some of the most motivational aspects of life for personal or professional growth and change. They can also make your short term goals more effective by creating goals short term goals that ultimately help you achieve your long-term goals.

Continue working on the activities that help you stay motivated, they will become habits and that is when you will achieve true long-term motivation.

Infuse Life With Action And Make It Happen

Some people dream of success, while other people get up every morning and make it happen. You have to make it happen. Never let life impede on your ability to manifest your dreams. Don't just stand there, make it happen. That's what at the end of the day defines us.

Some people hope that tomorrow would be a better day. Well, why will it be a better day? Well, instead of hoping that something will happen, why don't we just make it happen? Remember that we live to thrive not just to survive. So, why do we wait for tomorrow to happen when we can make it today? Act right NOW. Take actions to accomplish them.

Instead of hoping we should be acting. Unfortunately, in our world, nothing is handed to you for free. You have to put to work to get some results. And the harder you work the better the results will be.The difference between the ordinary and the extraordinary is the little extra.

Talents and potential enable you to achieve great things - but for most of us, these fail because of laziness or lack of perseverance. Although, hope is a choice and can change your life but you need to act to make change happen.

Lao Tzu cited that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. This leads to steady progress and improvement over the course of a week, month and year, up until the point they achieve their desired outcomes. Without urgency, there is no motivation - there is nothing forcing you to get up early in the morning to pursue your goals, and there is certainly nothing enticing you to stay up late when tasks haven't yet been completed.

You have so much to live up to and so much to achieve. However, things aren't that bad. This might not be ideal, but it's fine and acceptable. Understanding on how to make things happen how it originates and manifests in people's lives are important. It doesn't really matter how you end up convincing yourself to take urgent action in the pursuit of your goals, as long as it creates within you a strong desire to attack your goals with purpose and get things done intelligently and quickly.

Taking future deadlines into consideration is very important when it comes to creating a sense of urgency, however, what's important is that you don't obsess over your future, but instead stay present in order to make things happen at the moment. It also requires a proactive approach to accomplishing your tasks and projects.

Discipline is also required to create a sense of urgency. Living with a sense of urgency does mean that you will be working at a far more rapid pace than you're probably used to because this can lead to higher levels of stress and tension.

Experiencing these emotions is inevitable. So, even though there are drawbacks to making things happen, there are plenty of advantages as well that can help you create the momentum you need to attain your goals and objectives by infusing action to your goals.

It absolutely paramount that you break your goal down into small parts and assign at the very least weekly deadlines that will help you to stay focused on achieving them.

Boundaries: Can Someone Find It Hard To Say No When They Feel Worthless?

If one doesn't want to do something, they might listen to what is taking place with them and speak up. However, there is also the chance that they will ignore what is taking place within them and simply go along with what someone else wants.

A Different Experience

When it relates to the former, one is going to have a good connection with what is taking place within them. In addition to this, they will also feel safe enough to listen to what is taking place there.

Yet, when it comes to the latter, they might not even be aware of what is taking place within them. But even if they are aware, they are not going to feel safe enough to pay attention to what is going on there.

Point of Focus

When one is in touch with themselves and they feel safe enough to listen to the information that is within them, they are not going to be completely focused on what is taking place externally. One will be able to pay attention to their inner world and their outer world.

On the other hand, when one doesn't feel safe enough to listen to the information that is within them, they can end up being completely consumed by what is taking place externally. It can then be normal for them to only pay attention to what is taking place in their outer world.


What is clear is that they are the only person who will know what is right for them; the people around them are not going to know. Even so, this is not to say that other people will always realise this.

There are plenty of people in the world who are only too happy to tell other people what to do. Therefore, when one goes along with what other people want, they are going to miss out on the guidance that is within them.


When this happens, one will be behaving as though they are simply an extension of other people. Their actions will be the result for what other people want them to do, or what they think they want them to do.

This is likely to be what feels comfortable and so there will be no reason for them to change their behaviour. But if they were able to get in touch with how they feel, they might soon come into contact with a lot of pain.

An Act

If the people around them were to find out about how they feel, they could be in for a shock. This is because one could come across as happy and easy going, and this is going stop how they feel from coming to the surface when they are around others.

Or, if they were to get worked up and to express how they really feel, they could end up feeling bad. Through feeling this way, they will soon go back to how they were before, and it might be little while before they lose it again.

A Number of Outcomes

When one has the tendency to do what other people want, there may be moments when this doesn't cause them to be walked over. Yet, as this is likely to be something that rarely takes place, it might not matter.

The moments when they have been taken advantage of are going to be the moments that fill their mind. This may mean that there have been times when they have been physically harmed and/or they may have been verbally abused on a number of occasions.

Right Now

If one was to think about what their life is like at this point in time, they may find that they are in a relationship with someone who walks over them. Along with this, they might work with people who also behave in the same way.

It might not stop there though, as one could find that their family treat them in the same way. One is then going to be surrounded by people who don't respect their boundaries, and this is going to make it hard for them to feel good about themselves.

A Victim

One way of looking at this would be to say that one has gradually be worn down by the people in their life, and this is why they are unable to say no and to stand their ground. Based on this, the only way their life is going to change is if the people in their life start to respect their boundaries.

Another way of looking at this would be you say that they already felt worthless, and this is why they ended up coming into contact with these kinds of people. What will also support this outlook is if they are treated badly by their family.

Where it All Began

What took place when they were younger may have set them up to feel comfortable with being walked over. During this time, they may have been abused and/or neglected, and this would have caused them to feel worthless.

And through being treated in this way, it may have caused them to disconnect from their aggression. So not only will they feel as though they deserve to be walked over; they won't have the energy they need to do anything about it.


In order for one to change their life, they will need to get in touch with their inherent value and to embrace their aggression. Once this has taken place, they won't feel comfortable being walked over and, if someone tries to do so, they will have the strength that they need to do something about it.

This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

You Just Can't Get There From Here

Are you a problem solver, the one who seems to attract solutions? If so, you are the navigator through challenges that frequently confound the incongruous searchers who never seem to find appropriate answers. What keeps solutions at bay from those who spend countless hours in fruitless searches yet appears to habitually deliver the perfect response to others? There is a reason for this.

The cause of this malady can be found in the search technique. If you are one of the frustrated seekers look closely at how you handle situations and seek answers to resolve problems. You will probably discover that most of your energy is directed to looking at the problem. You may stare and stare until finally you assume there is no good response and give up.

Enter the problem solvers; look at how they approach problems. While acutely aware of the need to find answers, they rarely spend time looking at the problem. They look at solutions, carefully examining each one, weighing the opportunities and the challenges until they arrive at the answer that best addresses the issue.

Are they smarter or more talented than the seekers? No, yet they do have an innate understanding of how energy works. Whatever your energy is focused on intensifies. Stare at a problem and it typically grows worse until your worst fears are realized. Stare at solutions and more and more arise until the right best response appears. The law of attraction is powerful and operating in full force here. We attract what we are focused on, without fail.

There's more; this universal law is true no matter what you are seeking. A better job, loving partner, a different career, in fact, all the things you may hold near and dear to your heart exist just a redirected focus away waiting on you to look at them rather than staring at the lack of them.

We learn these skills by example, the search methods are deeply embedded in our life training. We observe the adults and authority figures in our life and assume their method of handling challenges is the correct one.

If you are a constant seeker you need only look behind you to find the person or persons who taught you how to approach problem solving. How do you break the chains that bind you to wrong responses? It requires your turning off the noise of the problem and turning on the awareness of solutions, like changing a channel on the television. Old habits may die hard but considering that continuing using methods that never worked is like staring at a rerun of a show you never liked makes it easier to change the channel. Failing to do so means you just can't get there from here.