Manifestation miracle

True-Self: Why Do Some People Lose Themselves Around Others?

When one is in touch with themselves and they feel safe enough to express who they are, there will be no reason for them to put on an act. How they come across on the outside is going to match up with who they are on the inside.

Now and Then

Or, if they do put on act, it is going to be something that rarely takes place. As a result of this, it is going to be a lot easier for them to handle the moments when they are unable to be themselves.

There can be times when they are unable to maintain their sense of self, and other times when it is necessary for them to play a role. If their life was under threat, for instance, one could lose themselves momentarily, or if they were at work, they might have to act in a way that doesn't reflect who they are.


When one spends time with their friends, it will be normal for them to be themselves. Their behaviour will be governed by what is taking place within them, as opposed to what is going on externally.

Now, this is not to say that one will lack empathy, and that they won't be able to tune into what is going on for someone else. What it means is that they won't end up losing themselves and acting as though they are an extension of someone else.

An Important Ability

One can then put themselves in another person's shoes without having to completely absorb what they are going through. Through being this way, they can stay in their own body and not get drawn into another person's experience.

Is it then going to be a lot easier of them to assist someone, and they won't end up taking on their problems. If one was to absorb what other people go through, it would be the same as one joining someone in a boat that is already sinking.

An Individual

When this doesn't happen, there will be no need for one to get in the boat; they will be able to instruct them on what they can do to get out of the boat. And, as one won't have the tendency to lose themselves around their friends, this area of their life is likely to be very fulfilling.

One will be able to fulfil their need to be seen for who they are, and the positive feedback that they get from others will actually mean something. If, on the other hand they were playing a role, it wouldn't mean anything.


What this is going to show is that one has good boundaries, and this is why they feel safe enough to be themselves. If this wasn't the case, it wouldn't matter if they were in touch with what is taking place within them.

As one is not here to live another person's life, it could be said that one will be living in the right way. However, while this can be seen as the ideal way to experience life, there are going to be a plenty of people who can't relate to this.

Another Experience

When one can't relate to this experience, it is going to mean that they are used to losing themselves around other people. This can be something that will take place no matter who they are around.

One is then going to disconnect from their own needs and feelings, and they will end up playing a role. This could be a role that someone else wants them to play, or it could be one that they think another person's wants them to play.


This is not to say that one will think about what role they need to play before they meet someone, or that they will spend time rehearsing a certain role. The reason for this is that one is likely to end up playing a role when they are around others.

Who they are will end up being covered up, and they will be nothing more than an actor. So, when they receive positive feedback from others, it might not have anything to do with who they are.

False Empathy

And as one is unable to maintain their sense of self around others, it could be normal for one to take on other people's problems. When they are around someone who is going through a hard time, one could absorb what they are going through.

It could then seem as though one is empathising with what they are going through; yet, it might be more accurate to say that one has simply merged with them. One lacks boundaries, and this is why they are taking on another person's problems.

Wide Open

It is then not that one necessarily cares about what the other person is going through; it is that this is something that just happens. If they were to behave differently, it is likely to cause them to feel uncomfortable.

Playing a role or taking on other people's problems is then something that feels safe. If one felt as though it was safe enough for them to be themselves, there would be no reason for them to behave in this way.


It might be hard for one to understand why they are experiencing life in this way. Nevertheless, what it can come down to is that took place during their early years.

This may have been a time when were abused and/or neglected, and this would have stopped them from being able to develop in the right way. What would have felt safe would have been to play a role and to do what other people wanted.


Through having these early experiences, there is the chance that one will be carrying a lot of trauma. And as they didn't get the kind of care that they needed, they can see themselves as being nothing more than an extension of other people.

If they received what they needed during this time, it would have allowed them to grow into an interdependent human being. In order for one to change their life, they might need to work with a therapist or a healer.

The Law of Intention (By Don McCoy)


Noun in•ten•tion in-ten(t)-shen

1. an act or instance of determining mentally uponsome action or result.

2. the end or object intended; purpose.

I sat in my car, having just pulled into the Trader Joe's parking lot. I just needed to go in to pick up a few things. Sitting there I weighed my emotions and what thoughts I was having. I understood that how I was feeling and what I was thinking would determine my experience while in the store.

I could walk in with the basic intention of picking up the items I needed, make some inconsequential small talk with the check-out person and leave. Or, I could set my intention to have a more pleasant experience.

How do I do this?

How can changing my intention change my experience in my daily life?

I can talk about meditative practices that would bring about peace and tranquility to those that practice daily. I can talk about holistic retreats and monasteries that foster tranquility and reverence for life.

But I'm not going to.

I'm back sitting in my car, some metal music playing on the radio and I'm feeling a bit indifferent. So, there is a simple practice that always turns things around for me. There is something that I do when I am feeling indifferent, or sad, or even angry, that changes my outlook and then changes my intention.

I smile.

First internally, I'm still sitting in the car looking at the shoppers walking into Trader Joe's. Some have their head down, a scowl on their face. Some walk in with what appears to be a purpose similar to what I described earlier; get in, and get out as quickly as possible.

So, I smile and open the door to my car and walk into the store. The smile never leaves my face. It's a subtle smile, not the shit-eaten grin of a slightly deranged person. Each person I make eye contact with I smile. Most smile back. Some even say hello, or even engage in small-talk with me.

So, what is the biology behind a smile?

A smile begins in our sensory corridors. When we hear a whispered kind word, our eyes notice an old friend at the store. Or our hand feels the warmth of another's hand, this emotional data funnels into the brain. It leaves the left anterior temporal region, then rises to the surface of the face, where two muscles, are ordered to action: Residing in the cheek is the zygomatic major, which tugs the lips upward, and encircling the eye socket is the orbicularis oculi, which squeezes the outside corners creating laugh lines or crow's feet on our face. The entire event is very brief - usually lasting from two-thirds of a second to four seconds - and those who witness it often respond by mirroring the action, and smiling back.

So the unintentional display of a smile is contagious. When we see another person smile, we often cannot help but smile back. So what if we create an intentional smile. It may start out as a fake representation. Maybe our moods are not the happiest sitting there in the parking lot. Maybe we had a bad day at work, or got into a fight with a loved one.

This is where the law of intention comes into play;

"Inherent in every intention and desire is the mechanics for its fulfillment... intention and desire in the field of pure potentiality have infinite organizing power. And when we introduce an intention in the fertile ground of pure potentiality, we put this infinite organizing power to work for us. __ Depak Chopra.

An amazing thing happens when we choose to smile even when we really aren't feeling it. The moment another person sees you smile at them, they invariably smile back. That instant and often involuntary response changes your thought pattern. Someone smiled at you! Your smile stays on your face a few seconds more. Maybe someone else smiles at you again...

What that little gesture has on the small society inside of that Trader Joe's is nothing short of a miracle. Someone else had a bad day. You chose to enter the store with a smile on your face. The person witnesses that and smiles back. Quite possibly this small and seemingly insignificant event could change how they feel and view their day from then on. Now, multiply this by all the people they meet.

I was told something many decades ago.

We have the opportunity to change the world at least once every day.

What if that smile was a singular event that carried to hundreds of people, even thousands of people, effectively changing their view of life and themselves?

We do not often see the results of our actions, of our emotions on others. But a smile.

A smile is free and priceless.

Try one on for size next time you are sitting in the car in the parking lot. Or anywhere else.

Don't Fall Into The Duplicating Trap - How To Create A Life Of Success And Fulfillment - Yes You Can

Are you frustrated by your life? Have you done everything you've been told to do but still feel you do not make any progress? Maybe it is because you are falling into the duplicating trap. Many times we fall into the trap of believing that our success must be exactly like the success of someone else. Many so-called gurus market themselves by telling others to duplicate what they did, and by doing that you will achieve success.

Following the steps that someone else has taken will only lead you to the same place the other person is. Doing this may lead you to success; however, it will never lead you to fulfillment because it will never take you to the place you want to be. Your success is your success and never is it just like someone else.

You are a unique individual, and therefore you have a unique path to traverse. You can only achieve real success and satisfaction by making it on your terms. This does not mean not learn from someone else. This means to make sure you adapt what someone else has done, so it fits into who you are.

Signs of the duplicating trap

So how do you know if you have fallen into the duplicating trap? Here are some signs that I found helpful for myself and found that told me I was not following my path.

1. The shiny new thing syndrome - I realized I was jumping from guru to guru, from new product to new product, to follow their program with little or no success. My direction and focus kept changing, sometimes daily, so it kept me from making any headway down my path.

2. The one foot in and one foot out syndrome - I found I was not feeling completely committed to any single path. I realized I wasn't able to move in any direction because I did not know what I truly wanted and because I kept trying to follow everyone.

3. Mind over heart syndrome- Because I was trying to follow everyone, I was ignoring my inner voice that a direction was not in line with who I was as a person. By doing this, I was becoming more and more frustrated with life.

4. The not believing syndrome - Because I was frustrated, I thought that success was not meant for me. I told myself that this was the case because this was not working out for me.

Do you find yourself doing or feeling any of these?


So what can you do about not falling into this trap? The most important thing is to take some time to figure out who you are and what it is you want out of life. The interesting thing is that we don't all want the same things. Advertisers and marketers try to make it sound that we all do, but that is not the case. Take the time to define and be clear on exactly what success means for you. Believe that you can achieve success on your terms. Trust that if you follow your inner voice and apply yourself, you can get what you want in your life. You must be able to say "NO" to what is not in line with what you want and to be able to say "YES" to what you do want.

Without being able to say "NO" to the path you don't want, then your "YESes" will have no meaning. You have the power to choose your success, your own who, what, where, when, and how.

Message From the Universe: Be Careful What You Wish For

Know what's missing from most people's lives?

The realization that nothing is missing from their lives.

You already have whatever you may be looking for.

And "I got you, babe" -
The Universe"

It takes a few months of positive thinking to experience its outcome. You need to have a lot of patience and regardless of the hell you are living today, you know that there is always light at the end of this dark tunnel. Bad weather is never consistent, there is always warmth and sunshine coming right after. You just need to learn to exercise your thoughts, just like you work-out at the gym to keep yourself healthy. Positive thinking requires developing certain muscles in your brain that requires constant attention and not allow negative thinking to pollute your territory. Just think of negative thinking as eating junk food. It's somewhat good in taste but very bad for your body. Just like FEAR, your mind is creating these thoughts because its easier than thinking positive. When faced with difficult challenges, you are tempted to say that life is not fair, that the world is against you, that you do not deserve anything good from happening, and so on and so forth. You suddenly allow junk to come into your mind and pollute your mental health by focusing your attention on the things you do NOT want. Anything that is easy in life is somewhere better and less stressful. However, if you really want to work on your success, start focusing on the work you need to do to bring yourself back in top mental shape.

It is said that if you work diligently in being positive, focusing on things you want, either being wealth, health glory or whatever else you wish for. By thinking hard and being clear with the Universe with your life's desires, you are creating yourself a path to excellence. There will always be negative thoughts trying to enter your mind here and there, that is perfectly normal as some doubts will find its way into your mind. Take your time to analyze these thoughts, why are they creeping in, why are they taking some valuable real estate space in your mind? Self-awareness is crucial, as well as self-worth. Never forgo one or the other, because they are your foundation to a better life. So what is self-awareness? As per Wikipedia, it is: " the conscious knowledge of one's own character, feelings, motives, and desires". Many are unaware of who they are, of their purpose in life, of what they want and not able to express it either. They are not clear with the Universe and are too afraid to ask for anything. They put a road block in their mind and allow a slew of negative thinking swarming in their subconscious. Result? Feeling miserable, not getting what you want and coming to realization that the Universe is there to bring more fortune to the fortunate, and more misery to the rest of the population. The Universe doesn't discriminate, so go out there and get your share. It will be worth it.

Is Your Success Draining Your Happiness? (By Lisa Burbage)

I am a health coach, not a business coach, but in the process of working with people to help them achieve whole-person wellbeing, I've learned the importance of knowing clients' personal and professional goals - especially at times of transition in their lives. Looking at work-life balance, financial goals and personal growth is an important part in helping people succeed in improving their health.

Most of them want success more than anything else in their life. And will work very hard to get it. However, once they achieve the goal, sustaining it usually is even more challenging. Why is this?

Oftentimes, once someone succeeds or has great privileges, their focus shifts. Rather than continuing to work on the goal, one indulges in the benefits. This, unfortunately, hinders further growth and continued happiness.

Take exercise for instance with a client. She typically can achieve an exercise program five times a week for few months, but then life gets busy and she quits. She can no longer find the time. That certainly is not the way to go about losing weight. And she is discouraged that brisk walking for 30 minutes burns only 100 calories. She decides the effort is not worth the gain on a long-term basis even though it initially increased her energy and helped make her feel better about herself. Or she may decide that the pressure she puts on herself to maintain success is too stressful. The effort seems to be more like punishment than enjoyment.

Lasting success comes from consistency. When you are consistently aware of your "why," you will continue to be motivated to maintain then further your success. You will say "no" to all temptations and distractions no matter how enticing they may be. Your "life vision" becomes far more important than a short-lived gratification. It's like eating ice cream even though you know it's not good for you. Yet you eat it anyway because you think it will ease your stress or help you get over a tiring day at work. It's a sad irony.

Success versus Achievement

There is a subtle difference between success and achievement. Success is a feeling you have about how you are doing at something and why you are doing it. Achievement is a positive, objective measure about what you have accomplished.

Success is more important than achievement. You can win an award and yet still not "feel" successful. I was a top producer as a real estate agent. I received all the trimmings for my success. But inwardly I did not feel successful. I lost the "why" regarding my life vision. Now I'm fulfilled in my work. And you can be too!

Another example: Your doctor says you must lose 15-25 pounds for your health. (Note: Obesity is the second largest contributor behind tobacco use to developing chronic diseases so prevalent today, including diabetes, cancer, Alzheimer's and autoimmune deficiency). Your health-care provider might say it's important to lose weight, but it really doesn't sink in if you don't understand why. So find your "why," and allow it to help you work towards success. Once there, remember what it took to reach the goal and never back away.

Alpha Point - The Truth About The Law Of Attraction and Manifestation

In 2016, the famous if not infamous little book called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, celebrated it's 10th anniversary with, of course, a 10th anniversary special edition. It's mostly the same stuff as the 2006 edition but with a bit of updating and a new testimonial or two. This book follows on another one she compiled called How The Secret Changed My Life. Fun reads, all of them.


Is it all a bunch of woo-woo hokum, or is there something to this thing called The Law of Attraction? Well, I can only boast by personal experience and I can say with certainty. Yes.

Yes? To which description?


First, there is a lot of hokum in books like The Secret. And many others I've read down through the decades, including such classics as Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles, many books by Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Marianne Williamson, and a host (read slew) of others.

There's also a lot of powerful information in all those ditties.

The so-called Law of Attraction is, to my mind, more about being in the right place at the right time. Cliché? Sure, but wait.

Someone once said that luck was the intersection of opportunity and hard work. Well, the Law of Attraction is similar. The LOA works when you put your mind and your actions together and that intersection seems to be the Alpha Point, as I call it. It's where the manifestation* takes place. (Alpha Point isn't original, by the way, but if you're the one who used it first, let me know, prove it, and I may or may not change it. (Smiley face here, if this was Facebook.)

So, then, how do you get the mind and the action to create a manifestation? And not just any manifestation; the one you say you want. (That is, if you really know what you want. It helps to know it. Most folks, when questioned, realize they don't really know.)

Here's the proverbial and expected list of how to's, with explanations:

  • You need to envision, to get a picture of, or a feeling for, what it is you say you want. And don't let me or anyone try to determine that for you. Sometimes gurus or well intended teachers/writers will say something like, "Don't just go for the material stuff. Deep down, that's not what you really want." How the hell do they know, eh? If you want money or the condo in the islands, who are they to say otherwise? So, if it's material, go for it.

  • You have to consider that it may be more complicated or complex than meets the eye. Say what? Yeah. Sometimes what we want involves all kinds of twists and turns in the material and/or spiritual realms to bring about your aim. Oh, and if it could hurt others in the process somehow, expect major delays. I'm not saying the LOA won't allow you to hurt someone; that's a judgment call. But it WILL make it extremely difficult. Just saying.

  • You need to think both long- and short-term. It can take a while for elements within your desires to arrange themselves. Patience is a definite virtue. People often give up when manifestation doesn't happen in a heart beat. Hold tight.

  • Be persistent in your thoughts and actions. There will be obstacles, with you being the major obstacle. You have mental and physical traits and habits that have a way of blocking the manifestation process. That may well be the biggest reason you seem to have trouble manifesting your desires and goals. As you put all this into practice, those blocks will begin to show themselves and you can decide how to deal with them.

  • Develop a thick skin. Not everyone in your circle of relationships is going to like your realities, your dreams, your outcomes. If you have a spouse, or niggling parent, or nagging boss, colleague, pastor, banker, chances are your dreams may cross paths with theirs in antagonistic ways. You may have to deal with some disappointment and rejection. If what you want is really what you want, you'll face it all. But if you waver even a little, that may be the sign that you don't really want it. Perhaps it's more important to please someone else. That's OK, as long as you get straight about it.

Finally, remember this:

Belief often comes in dribbles and droplets. It may take a while for you to come to terms with your own doubts about all this. And that's a good thing. We don't always know what we want, not really. As you practice this manifestation process consciously, your current creations, habits, relationships, doubts, hidden resentments and bitterness, anger, or fears may come to your attention. Maybe you didn't want to deal with them. But some of them stand in the way of your desires, your dreams, and to get around them, you must deal with them. (There's a price for everything. Even the free stuff.)

Ultimately, the journey to your manifestation is worth all the chaos it can create. After all, you are shaking things up. Changing. You may even realize you didn't want what you think you did. And in the process, discover what you REALLY do want. That's the real prize: To know what you really want and to stop wasting time on pipe dreams.

It's work, it's play, it's joy, some pain (even good change can be stressful, right?), but ultimately, you are in the driver's seat.

You can have whatever you want, truly, if you are willing to let mind meet action, face the challenges, do the work, and reap the harvest!

That's when you'll discover your personal Alpha Point. From that point forward, you will know how to manifest anything. The universe will literally roll at your feet in ecstasy.

And that's no secret!

*Manifestation, or manifestation process, isn't really something you do, exactly. It's a result. You are in fact manifesting all the time. Your thoughts, actions, beliefs, intentions, and internal stresses all serve to create manifestations. Changing any or all of those things, positively or negatively, will create a new manifestation.

Your Key to Success, and How to Reach Your Goals

It is so easy to feel weighed down by concerns, worries, fears for the future, or sad because relationships are strained, uneasy, or you always seem to say the wrong thing.

To get out of this groove and way of thinking can take some effort.

Thought is energy and emanates out from us like radio waves, therefore feeling sad or negative doesn't help the situation. Turning your thoughts or attitude around, can send out positive vibrations which has the knock-on effect of improving conditions.

So, whatever can help to make you feel more relaxed and happy, sends out that thought energy, which you can also project into the future, influencing future situations or relationships for the better. Your health and well-being will improve.

Situations, or people, that have upset you in the past can be wearing you down now, and preventing you from enjoying the good things in life NOW.

You cannot alter the past, but you can learn to accept what has occurred, or whatever has been said to hurt you, and leave the past where it is, in the past! Use the situation to project you towards a better future.

Visualizations, or using positive imaginations, can be a really useful too visualizing positive future situations or relationships are a great help as it is promoting positive vibrations.

Positive visualization, or imagination can affect you memory, helping you to feel more peaceful and more in control of any hurt or anxiety, instead of IT controlling YOU!

"Think happy and you'll be happy" was a phrase used by Evadne Price many years ago and is still true today.

Therefore also, think successful and you'll be successful. Successful people believe in their abilities, with confidence, it is their key to success. Therefore thinking this way can be YOUR secret to success.

How many times have you lain awake at night with everything going around and around in your mind, which prevents you from sleeping? Getting a good nights sleep helps you to cope with all you need to do. So promoting a good nights sleep by learning to let go of worries and concerns enables your mind to be more peaceful, able to relax and drift off to sleep, waking refreshed for the next day.

Your body is able to heal whilst you are asleep, so sleep is essential. If you are lying awake and tense, your body is not able to renew itself. You need to be able to look after your body and your mind to be physically and mentally healthy, in order to be at your best. After good sleep, being active and eating well maintains your well-being.

Feeling rested, calm, healthy and positive is how to reach your goals. If you feel tired, lacking energy and hope, you will feel you can't achieve anything.

"You are what you eat" is another good phrase worthy of consideration.

Being anxious about money, as we all are at various times of our lives, isn't helpful, because being anxious tends to prevent us from seeing any opportunities that may be occurring in order for us to improve our wealth. Think of ways to increase your income, sell unwanted items, look how to make money on-line.

Wealth can come to you in various ways and forms. One small step or one small "something" can lead to another. Glass half empty or half full? Be positive about everything you actually have even a small amount of money, or something that makes you happy, however small, is valuable.

Human beings have creative minds, which are capable of creating in many ways, and we are all different. Find ways to tap into your own creativity to boost your self-esteem.

With a calm, clear, uncluttered mind, ideas can pop into your head that you can use. Maybe you may think that you can do something in a better way, or something can be improved on or be more efficient, by making an adjustment.

Do not doubt yourself or your abilities, do not criticise yourself or be envious of others. What is self-esteem? It is when you feel confidence in yourself, respect yourself and have pride in your own abilities, using your own unique qualities.,-and-How-to-Reach-Your-Goals&id=9745329